Dear Luna
by DarkLordLongbottom
Summary: Neville Longbottom reflects upon his 5th and 6th year at Hogwarts. See what he thought about the fights and really thinks of the Trio.


Dear Luna

Ask someone about me or who I am. They will tell you about a timid and forgetful little boy. Someone to afraid to stand up for himself. Someone afraid of his on shadow. But, you see they do not know the whole story, they didn't get to see it through my eyes. They have know idea what true pain and suffering is. They never have to look in to eyes that never look back and never will. I cry myself to sleep every night wondering when my pain might end. Only to awake and have to go through this cruel world another day.The taunts and the curses leave me a broken man each day.

Yet I must hold my head high. I must make my family proud. When I was younger that is all I cared for. But no longer does that thought enter my mind. For no matter what I do I will still be that timid little boy. Gran says I care to much and that it will be the death of me. I am willing to fight for others for no reason at all. Willing to put my life on the line so that they can live another day. Funny isn't it I see myself as a smaller version of Hagrid. Loyal to the end both of us will be. But, unlike Hagrid who praise our sung to the heavens. Mine go unnoticed. Even the small things I've done should get me some praise.

Like when the Slytherins were taking Ginny out of all those who were watching I am the only one who tried to stop it. Did I get a thanks a pat on the back, no just a look of pity from the "golden ones." I wonder if he ever thought about that night. Like what would have happen had me and you stayed back. When would they had been caught? Perhaps when Ron couldn't deflect a tickling charm and decided to play with a tank of brains. Perhaps when Ginny broke her ankle and got stunned. Maybe when the smartest witch at Hogwarts couldn't block a spell and was knocked out. Ron, Ginny, Hermione all down Harry is all alone.

Funny isn't out of his most loyal friends two outcast, two laughing stocks of the school were left standing. But what if I let the fear in me control me and Stayed back while you went with them. The door bust inward and you go flying. Once again our hero is alone and outnumbered. But I did go. And as they trapped him in I was the one who showed up to help. It was me who had to look into the eyes of my new found greatest fear and hear her mock and her friends mock my parents. It was me who took the same curse they did and told Harry not to hand over the Prophecy. Not cause I was scared or already losing it. This was my moment I thought. Make the family proud, go out the same way mom and dad did. But, then ran in the Order. And all was right again.

But have you wondered what would have happen had I not come in the room to help him and just hid. I have hundreds of times wondering if they would have used the Unforgivables on him. More wizards more strength. I doubt even Harry could fight it. Or they could have just made a Portkey or Apparated and took him with them. I could have died that night yet I lived to see another day. When I awoke the winds told me times were changing. I knew then my life had a purpose. How stupid of me, taking an Unforgivable for someone doesn't make you their friend. Nope just a timid boy who tagged along for no reason at all. Yet in the end he stood tall. Not Ron the Brave, Hermione the Wise, Ginny the Powerful, or even Luna the Loony One(sorry). Just poor little Neville the Forgetful.

Summer should have been fun. Grans was angry and proud. I finally got my own wand. I final had friends. Or so I thought like always no letter came and none went. I told myself they must just be busy and I would see them on the train. They weren't busy just didn't care. The D.A. was gone and so were my friends. You were the only one who felt the pain I did when they said it was over. You like me looked at the D.A. as not just an army but the only group of people who when in that room with us were friends. I knew then my six year was going to be a replay of my first. I had been lost and forgotten once again.

Harry never told anyone, that I know of, why we damn near died for that damn prophecy. He no doubt told Ronnie and Little RavenDor about it. And maybe even Ginny. But, me and you oh no don't tell them. Yeah we know that they fought better than us and lasted longer but, they don't look like they can handle it. You know maybe they are right. I mean I know nothing of keeping things secret for years. I know nothing of what measures people will go to get what they want. So yeah keep it from me I don't care. That is how my six year was going. No new friends just new enemies. Like the now one eyed Death Eater I stopped from choking "The Chosen One" to death.

But like all years when Potter is at school every thing goes to hell fast. I felt the coin burn in pure shock. Could it be! The D.A. was back and my life had gotten ten times better. Nope! I'm a Longbottom if it weren't for bad luck we would have no luck at all. Another death trip approved by the Great Scarface. To die or not to die I thought. Should I answer their call when for so long they ignored mine. Should I help those that only help me out of pity. Sadly yes, I am a Longbottom and that thing LeStrange might be there. I have a couple of words for her, her husband and his brother. So Like a good little timid and forgetful boy I run off and Fight. And like last year I have no idea how they know it was going to happen or why just us students were fighting. Hell smart one my arse, Floo call the Order, the Aurors, hell wake the whole damn school. Not all can be trusted is what they said. What they meant was better you die than someone else important.

So here we are fighting for our sad little lives. I get hurt yet by some miracle the two red-headed ones and the walking bush seems to go untouched. Lucky little dogs they are. Sad isn't it I found out later how lucky they were. They drunk that damn potion and said to hell with the others. Sorry no good yellow belly cowards. To good to fight the old fashion way. And if they were so damn lucky why in the name of Merlin did they not try and go up the stairs. Their Luck would have let them or shown them away. Nope that was for me to try and pay for. This year my hopes did not get up for new friends. If you can't tell by now I am really starting to hate them. Harry gave me and you a look that said he now cared for us according to you. But, me I think it was just Gas.

So here i am now writing this stupid letter wondering what to do next. Once again No letters have came none have went. Perhaps I will start practicing spells. Get better at defense so I can help those idiots again. After all I will be of age soon. And Hogwarts might be closed for good. Then there is that other option. I lied about the no letter coming part. Someone wrote me telling me of all the dark side can offer me, including my parents. I would finally be able to show Harriet and his lap dogs that I am not useless. I would be able to make the world come to fear the name Longbottom.

These thought were in my mind while I looked at the morning paper, the Quibbler. On the front page is a picture of Dumbledore's tomb. I look at the tomb and I hear his voice whispering to me "choose between what is easy and right my child" Damn near went on myself when I heard those words. How would he know what I was thinking? Why would he even care? I am not Little James but Little Frank. James died Noble so his son is treated like a Hero. Frank's last words spoken was "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" so as you can see his son must be treated like a nut case. As I was going to trash the paper something caught my eye. A pair of eyes that when looked into didn't look back. Yet you knew wisdom hid in them. That deep down they heard you and would listen.

They were your eyes. I knew even though I do not have many friends I will always have you, at least for another day.

Your Friend Now and Forever,

Neville

The End Hey I wrote another story good for me. I was bored and needed to do something. And if it is hard to read I don't like writing letters. I find it boring. So I was bored and decided to do something that would make me even border. I know I am not the sharpest knife in the kitchen. But remember it's the rusted ones you should fear. :-). Now be a Good Puppet and Review. Love it or Hate it or Just looking for Directions. I am here to please.


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